On Mars retrograde and learning to swim in the soup
Coming to you live from the trenches.
Happy New Year, fam. I am…so tired. I’m talking “feeling behind at work and in life, just went to the gym for the first time in weeks, have to pry myself out of bed most mornings” levels of tired. The bone-deep dread I feel about entering another Trump administration isn’t helping, but it’s not the root of this fatigue. Honestly, it’s reminiscent of the last time I dealt with burnout.
Some astrological context: Mars has been retrograde since early December. We’re now at the halfway point of its backwards trek through Leo and Cancer. Of all the words that come to mind to describe this transit, one has stuck with me: soupy. That’s exactly how life feels right now: gloppy, viscous. Like I’m swimming in a bowl of soup. No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to move very quickly or accomplish very much.
And I’m frustrated with myself. This can’t be the same body that wrote prolifically last year, that walked thousands of steps every day, that watched the fucking sunrise after a night out. I feel a little embarrassed about feeling this way, like hustle culture has wormed its way into my brain, but it’s the truth.
Does life feel especially soupy for you right now? If so, solidarity. If not, maybe you’ve internalized a lesson that I’m still trying to learn: that in life, there are seasons for traversing oceans, and then there are seasons for swimming in the soup.
If Mars is about getting shit done, Mars retrograde is about reflecting on why we’re trying to do the shit we’ve set out to do. It’s a push to slow down, to course-correct; to reevaluate what’s really worth our time, energy, and fighting spirit. To swim in the soup and emerge reinvigorated, our intentions clarified.
It’s a routine, necessary redirection, but in practice, it can feel like a slog. Our momentum in life stalls; we’re more likely to face setbacks and false starts or revisit obstacles we thought we’d overcome already. Making progress requires a heavier lift, and even then, it tends to be nonlinear.
Moon-ruled Cancer is pretty good at the whole slowing down, listening to your body thing—decent for Mars retrograde, but not ideal for this planet in general (I repeat: soupy). It’s also quite emotional and defensive, which slows Mars’ roll. When you’re in your feelings, it’s more tempting to fall back on passive-aggression or knee-jerk reactions.
Mars fares OK in Leo, but still, it’s a fixed sign. There’s a prideful side to Leo that can definitely cause us to get in our own way. Vanity projects, ego-fueled drama—they can be entertaining to partake in, but they’re not necessarily productive.
Is productivity even the point, though?
Why is this the one thing I’m so hung up on?
I’m not a Mars person by nature. Actually, I’m kind of the opposite of a Mars person: I have Venus on my ascendant, and my natal Mars is in detriment in a day chart. Boil it all down, and you get this: I’m no machine. I work hard, and I can work a lot, but I can’t rush through it.
I’ve got a lot on my plate these days, and I’m already operating in a Mars deficit, so I knew I’d need all the help I could get for this retrograde. In preparation, I hired a personal trainer for the first time in my life. (“Mars remediation!” I’ve half-joked to anyone who will listen.) Strength training was my main priority. I’ve stuck to my workouts pretty consistently, the past few weeks notwithstanding.
Getting to the gym requires planning ahead and carving an hour or two out of my day. Once I’m there, though? I slip into a state of mindfulness. Time slows down. I become hyper-aware of my body—what it’s doing, how it’s positioned. It’s made me stronger, more present. More embodied. I even know how to engage my core now: a deep breath in before the movement, out as I exert myself.
This whole time, I thought I was just getting in fighting trim to appease Mars. I realize now that training has actually been a lesson in moving with intention.
My big takeaway from this Mars retrograde story-in-progress? Too many of us are (knowingly or unknowingly) ignoring the signs of burnout—clear signals from our minds and bodies that what may have worked for us in the past isn’t working anymore, that something’s gotta give. And Mars isn’t having it. Mars wants us to pump the brakes, get our priorities straight, and change course.
I say all this as someone in the Mars retrograde hot seat: I’m a Cancer rising with my natal Moon in Leo, and Mars is my profected planet this year. This transit is my final boss, the one I’ve been preparing for/anxiously speculating about since my birthday in May. So far, it’s mostly been about making peace with the fact that life feels soupy right now.
Fighting it hasn’t helped, so here I am, trying to take my own advice. I’m moving through life a little slower. Listening to my body. Trying to focus less on work or productivity and more on refilling my cup.
i am feeling sluggish and soupy af. what. a. time. 😶🌫️🥹🥲